Some Minnesota jokes are evidence of the myths and stereotypes that people believe about our state and its people. Other jokes about Minnesota hit very close to home and are indeed based on our unique culture, seasons, and heritage.
You will find some of all of that here with jokes about our winters, Minnesota blondes, Minnesota sports teams and more. Laugh with us as we laugh at ourselves!
Lots of Minnesota jokes begin with "you know you're from Minnesota if." Here is one version. You will find others as your browse our other pages that contain jokes about Minnesota and Minnesotans. Enjoy!Red Stangland's Revised UFF DA JOKES - Scandinavian Jokes, Poems, Cartoons, Shaggy Dog Stories (Ole & Lena Jokes, Norwegian Jokes and the World Famous Norwegian I.Q. Test)
You know you're from Minnesota when.....
Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor.
"Vacation" means going to Brainerd for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes to social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both doors unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as venison, walleye, and Leinenkugels.
You carry jumper cables in your car and all the women you know know how to use them.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the grocery store at any given time.
You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snow suit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel p.j.'s.
You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.
It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop to talk to everyone in town.
You actually understand these jokes and will pass them on to all your friends from Minnesota.
Ole and Sven went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish, and Sven says, "The way I figger it, Ole, each of them fish cost us $400. Well. At dat price it's a good ting we didn't catch any more of em than we did."
Did you hear about Ole's nephew Torvald who won the gold medal at the Olympics? Yeah, he had it bronzed.
"Mama, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian?" "No, it's because you're NINETEEN."
In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at the ventriloquist, "HEY! You've been making jokes about us Norwegian people enough! Cut it out!" And the ventriloquist says, "Take it easy. They're only jokes!" And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy sitting on your knee!"
Ole came back to work 15 minutes late. The boss noticed and asked where he had been. Ole: "Getting a haircut." Boss: "On company time?" Ole: "It grew on company time." Boss: "Not all of it." Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off."
So what's the difference between a Norwegian and a canoe? Well, a canoe will sometimes tip.
Sven and Ole went out duck hunting, and they worked at it for a couple hours and finally Sven says: "I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?" "I don't know. I wonder if we're throwing the dog high enough."
Just doing his job!
As a truck driver in Rochester stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on his door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl again catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. And, as if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says:
"Hi, my name is Kevin, it is winter and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!!"
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