Minnesota Jokes
Winter Fun!

Lessons From a Snowman (or snow-woman)

Wearing white is always in style - even after Labor Day.
Getting outside in the winter is good for your health.
It's fun just to hang out in your front yard.
We're all made up of mostly water.
Accessories don't have to be expensive.
Don't get too much sun!
If you're a little bottom heavy - hey, that's okay!
You know you've made it when they write a song about you.
If you look down and can't see your feet -
you're probably not very active.
Sometimes sweating too much can have disasterous results.

Minnesota Temperature Conversion Chart

50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Minnesotans plant gardens.

40 Fahrenheit (4.4 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans sunbathe.

35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Minnesotans drive with the windows down.

32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
Distilled water freezes
Minnesotans water gets thicker.

0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Minnesotans have the last cookout of the season.

-40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
Minnesotans rent some videos.

-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Minnesota Girl Scouts sell cookies door-to-door.

-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Minnesotans pull down their earflaps.

-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Minnesotans get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-459.4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Minnesotans start asking, "cold enough for ya?"

-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Vikings win the Super Bowl

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replied that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.

Being a good leader, he then went to the phone, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter going to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter is going to be quite cold indeed."

So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be well prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it really going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

So the Chief went back to his people and ordered them to go and collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"

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