Minnesota Jokes About Winter

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Minnesota jokes about winter help us deal with the challeges we face by laughing at Minnesota winter jokes.



Minnesota Jokes Winter

We love to share Minnesota jokes. Winter gives us lots of opportunity to make fun of the ways we cope with our chilly climate. Here are some of our favorite Minnesota winter jokes.

One thing we are known to say is that the cold weather "keeps out the riff-raff." That is not, however, a true representation of Minnesotans.

The other side of the coin (or snowball) is that we are known world-wide for "Minnesota Nice."


Lessons From a Snowman (or snow-woman)

~Wearing white is always in style - even after Labor Day.

~Getting outside in the winter is good for your health.

~It's fun just to hang out in your front yard.

~We're all made up of mostly water.

~Accessories don't have to be expensive.

~Don't get too much sun!

~If you're a little bottom heavy - hey, that's okay!

~You know you've made it when they write a song about you.

~If you look down and can't see your feet -
you're probably not very active.

~Sometimes sweating too much can have disasterous results.

Winter Magic: Beautiful Holiday Patterns Coloring Book for Adults

Minnesota Winter Joke


Minnesota Temperature Conversion Chart

50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Minnesotans plant gardens.

40 Fahrenheit (4.4 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans sunbathe.

35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Minnesotans drive with the windows down.

32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
Distilled water freezes
Minnesotans water gets thicker.

0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
Minnesotans have the last cookout of the season.

-40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)
Hollywood disintegrates.
Minnesotans rent some videos.

-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helen's freezes.
Minnesota Girl Scouts sell cookies door-to-door.

-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Minnesotans pull down their earflaps.

-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Minnesotans get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-459.4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
Minnesotans start asking, "cold enough for ya?"

-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over.
The Vikings win the Super Bowl


We hope you'll visit and experience our winter, and our other beautiful seasons for yourself.

Prediction For a Cold Winter

The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief replied that the winter was going to be cold and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.

Being a good leader, he then went to the phone, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter going to be cold?" The man on the phone responded, "This winter is going to be quite cold indeed."

So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be well prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it really going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

So the Chief went back to his people and ordered them to go and collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely," the man replied, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"

Get Out of The Cold and Enjoy Minnesota Entertainment

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"Oh Freedom! The Story of the Underground Railroad": Stories & Songs - Howard Conn Fine Arts Center (Minneapolis, MN) Check Availability


Acclaimed Accordo String Ensemble - Various Minneapolis & St. Paul Venues - The Schubert Club (Minneapolis, MN) - January 24: Join Accordo for an evening of silent film with live music. This special concert will feature original music by Stephen Prutsman accompanied by the screening of various silent movies, including some Charlie Chaplin short films. Check Availability


Hill House Chamber Concerts - The Hill House Chamber Players, made up of talented musicians from Minnesota Orchestra and the faculty of the University of Minnesota, present their latest series of concerts in the restored art gallery of the historic James J. Hill House. The performances, co-sponsored by The Schubert Club and Minnesota Historical Society, feature group members and guest artists in programs spanning the chamber music repertoire. James J. Hill House (St. Paul, MN) - Check Availability

North Star Roller Girls - Hard-Hitting Roller Derby - Cheer on your favorite team when the North Star Roller Girls hit the track in fast-paced bouts. Powered by their impressive athleticism and spirited attitudes, these girls serve up hard-hitting, exciting roller derby. Lee and Rose Warner Coliseum at the Minnesota State Fair Grounds (Falcon Heights, MN) - Check Availability


"Schubert Club Mix": A Fun Twist on Classical Music - Various Minneapolis & St. Paul Venues - The Schubert Club (Minneapolis, MN) Check Availability


LOCASH ("I Know Somebody"): Pop-Country Hitmakers - Cabooze (Minneapolis, MN) - Thursday March 23, 2017 / 8:00pm | $15 Check Availability


"'Til Death: A Marriage Musical" - Hit Comedy Returns - Art House North (Saint Paul, MN)- The show runs 90 minutes, with a 15-minute intermission and is appropriate for ages 8 and older. Check Availability


Anxiety Tonight (Pigtails Are Kosher) - Miriam Plotkin Stars in this One-Woman Show - Sabes Theater at the JCC (Minneapolis, MN) Check Availability

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