Minnesota Computer Terms

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Log on: Making the wood stove hotter

Log off: Don't add wood

Monitor: Keep an eye on the woodstove

Download: Getting the firewood off the pickup

Megahertz: What happens when you drop a log on your toe while downloading

Floppy Disk: What you get from piling too much wood

RAM: The hydraulic thingy that makes the wood splitter work

Hard Drive: Getting home in a snowstorm

Prompt: What you wish the mail was in a snowstorm

Windows: What you close when it's 30 below

Screen: What you need for the mosquito season

Byte: What the mosquitoes will do to you if you don't have a screen

Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag

Infrared: Where the leftovers go when Fred's around

Modem: What you do to the hayfields

Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's daughter

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy

Keyboard: Where you hang up your keys

Software: Plastic eating utensils

Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn

Main Frame: The part of the barn that holds the frame up

Port: Fancy wine tried once by Farmer Matrix

Enter: C'mon in

Random Access Memory: You can't remember how much that new rifle cost when your wife asks

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